![]() ![]() ![]() These stories are our interpretations of what we saw and/or heard. Our emotions are generated by “stories” we tell ourselves when someone does or says something. What I do want is to be able to talk so we understand each other better.” Control Your Emotions Confirms your respect or clarifies your real purpose (the do part).Īn example of contrasting in a couple’s conversation: “I don’t want to suggest that this problem is yours.Addresses others’ concerns that you don’t respect them or that you have a malicious purpose. ![]() Contrasting is a don’t/do statement that: When you need to repair a misunderstanding to restore respect, you can use the skill of contrasting. Brainstorm new strategies (with a clear mutual purpose).Invent a mutual purpose (if you’re still at odds).Recognize the purpose behind the strategy (ask people why they want what they’re pushing for).Commit to seek a mutual purpose (commit to stay in dialogue until finding something that satisfies everyone).You need to clarify or rebuild mutual purpose if your motives and goals, or someone else’s, seem to be suspect. When you learn to handle crucial conversations effectively, the quality of your relationships and your effectiveness in your career will improve dramatically, and you’ll be able to help get everybody what they want. After this book, you’ll be able to talk to anyone about virtually any topic, no matter how sensitive. Moreover, we often deliberately avoid having these conversations because we’re afraid we’ll make matters worse.Ĭrucial Conversations teaches you an array of dialogue principles and practical skills, explained and demonstrated through numerous examples. When this happens, little progress is made, and resentment builds. These stressful conversations can rapidly go awry, with people behaving at their worst - yelling at each other and sniping sarcastically, or on the other side going silent and withdrawing. It is a great resource for professionals and individuals alike, as it offers practical advice that can be applied in everyday life.Poorly handling crucial conversations - discussions with high stakes, different opinions, and strong emotions - is the cause of many of our most painful problems in work and home life. Overall, Crucial Conversations is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their communication skills. Additionally, it provides tools and advice on how to bring opposing viewpoints together and how to work through difficult conversations. The book also covers topics like effective listening, how to persuade others, and how to reach consensus. The authors teach readers how to stay in control of their emotions, and how to handle arguments in a constructive way. The book focuses on how to deal with difficult conversations, or conversations with high stakes on the line, such as firing someone, discussing a raise, or marriage counseling. It was published in 2002 and has become a classic in the field of communication skills. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High is a popular self-help book written by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. ![]()
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